Twisted Teenage Years
by Renflower21
Summary: Konoha High has always been a place ripe with gossip and strange people. Konan is a junior who houses a longtime friend and runaway, Pein. As their dark pasts are steadily unveiled, what will become of the two troubled teens? AU, please R&R.
1. Judgement

_Brr-iiiiing_

The school bell for Konoha High School could be relied on to be loud enough to echo down the block and be heard by those who lived near the unfortunate place. It could only be dwarfed by the loud and rowdy sounds of the teenagers that were let out at the time of three in the afternoon every day. The voices buzzed noisily, mixing different voices together until they blended together to make an unrecognizable racket. Loud footsteps clattered against the crumbling grey-white sidewalk blocks, tracking the dirt across it, always expecting someone else to clean it up. Teenagers…almost every man and woman that occupied the town of Konoha viewed them as the obnoxious trouble that inhabited the otherwise perfectly nice town, not realizing their own faults that tended to fuel the fire of the rebellion that was known to strike out in the adolescent population.

The village of the leaves, many called the humble township, and that technically was the meaning of the name of it. It was just one of the mysteries that were held dear in the suburban town, one of those that's answer was locked in the heart with an unbreakable safe. That mystery was why it was named Konoha, who had come up with it. The past of the place was buried in uncertainty and rumors, originating from a time dominated by gossip. Of course, the abundance of trees no doubt had something to do with the name. Every spring beautiful pink buds unfolded on the formally bare trees, turning the treacherous shadows of crooked and mangled fingers into a scene out of a corny romance novella (the kind bought at a convenience store by the lonely female elders). The roots of the trees expanded in knotty patterns throughout the fresh soil and the lush green grass that appeared as that of those in the perfectly groomed – and most certainly expensive - of the yuppies in the upper regions of towns. Bird songs could be heard calling at all hours of the day, though the hooting of the nocturnal owls began around the coming of dusk, quickly silenced by the hollering of the overworked and angry as their yells echoed in the night, more irritating than the calling of the owls could ever be. In the vast region of many varying climates that the lived in, their area was no doubt the greenest and the most lush in terms of trees.

The citizens of the town were no different, a lively bunch for the most, and full of oddities and just outright nutcases. Gossip in this town did not differ from any other, only the names and stories differing. It wasn't just the teenagers that did so either, oh no, they weren't even key players. Whether it was over a cup of steaming tea at the local coffeehouse or during long phone conversations between longtime friends, it was the middle aged and old woman that spread the poison through the body of the community. And there was no shortage of gossip to be said and distorted, it seemed there never was. From the unwed Kurenai pregnant with the child of a chain-smoker, to the skirt-chasing Jiraiya's involvement with the alcoholic Tsunade, there was no lack of hot material to discuss, though usually the so called 'scandal' was a lot more diminished than it was made out to be. When there was no new material, it was simply made up pieced together by bits of information that didn't quite fit to form a whole. One often wondered just how much the truth could be stretched until it snapped altogether. Most everyone had been discussed over a homemade pastry brunch, a rumor surfacing about every townsperson, teen and adults alike.

Konan was no exception to this. If anything, she was actually the topic of much more rumors and gossip than most. At the moment, the junior stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, examining her reflection with a dissatisfied look on her normally stoic face. She ran a painted fingernail over her pale skin, brushing a lock of hair from her beautifully blue eyes. Those deep eyes, the type that always looked on the verge of slipping off into sleep, gazed dissatisfied over every single feature on her. It made her wonder what other people saw when they looked at her. Of course, she already knew the answer to this, they made it clear enough.

The young student examined her body first. It was what _he_ used to call a dancer's body. Her waist curved in more than perfectly, to form a large sweeping curve that gave her that skinny appearance. Her hips were small as well, as were her 'stick legs', skinny and pale. She could always hear the laughs, the whispers of 'anorexia' due to her not eating her lunch. It was at that noontime that she felt their stares the hardest. Konan was not anorexic, or even bulimic for that matter, just skinny. So painfully skinny.

She wore her hair up all the time, the color of it an electric blue that was but one of the reasons that people raised eyebrows as to her appearance. The messy amount of it was always gathered up in a quickly put together bun, with untidy bangs sweeping her face, a clip on the bun that was attached to a hand-made paper flower. The one that _he _had one called beautiful.

Origami was her hobby, her vice it could be said, as some had smoking or alcohol or drugs. There was no denying the oddness of this particular hobby of hers, but it was just something to _do _when there was nothing. It was something material and just plain there for her hands to fold, the only time that she could turn something into a wondrous beauty and actually create. It was like bringing life to something otherwise dead, to breath fresh existence out of almost nothing. It was, she sometimes felt, the only thing she was good at.

As if this ripe orchard wasn't brimming with enough fruit to pass along to others and whisper about in the hall, she wore clothing that was different from the norm, not bought from Hollister or American Eagle or even Abercrombie and Fitch. _Freak, goth, emo, poser._ As if she couldn't hear their labels. What was she to them but a fresh can of soup to plaster labels all over. _Warning: Contact or socialization may cause you to become a freak by association. _Did her choice of clothing make her any less human? Apparently, the correct answer was yes. Sentenced to guilty by the judgment of her peers, a four-year term of hard time in the Konoha High.

Konan tugged on her black spaghetti-strap top so that it covered the inch of flat stomach that it revealed, and over the tattoo that peeked out over her tight-fitting midnight ebony jeans. She could still hear the painful hisses of 'slut' echoing in her twice-pierced ears. Even the large, open hoodie that she wore over it didn't protect her from the piercing accusations. Even the walk home from school was torture.

_What, boyfriend fixing his motorcycle? Have to walk to your dirty trailer home today? Or maybe he just can't stand kissing you with that freaky lip stud._

None of them took even a second to get to know the real her, or they'd have discovered that she didn't have a boyfriend, and hadn't in years. And that even when she had that one, he certainly hadn't had an interest in motorcycles. The trailer park statement was ridiculous as well, because she lived in an apartment, not a trailer home. Her lip stud was her business and not theirs, she'd gotten it because of _him_, and that comment was just plain low. Konan brushed a tear from her eye, not at all to prevent her mascara from smearing, but rather as not to give them the satisfaction of seeing her cry. And also so that _he _wouldn't see her tears.

The young junior rushed out of the bathroom, an echoing noise floating through the tiled room as her black combat boots his the ground. She opened the door only to bump into another girl. She immediately recognized her as the pink haired Sakura, merciless spreader of rumors. Konan muttered an apology and brushed past her, but not before hearing the harsh hiss escape from Sakura's perfectly painted lips.

_Freak._

Konan rushed out of the building as fast as her skinny legs could carry her, as if she could outrun the haunting harsh words and accusations, the painful insults and rumors that attacked so frequently that she herself found herself believing them at times, when the moon was high in the sky and darkness was cast across her room. Her back was against the brick wall of the building, her small chest rising and falling with each breath as she steadied and stabled herself for _him_, who she didn't want ever seeing her like this. She walked on the asphalt ground over around to the side of the building, an alley-like space where shadows reached into the already darkened area like hands trying to drag you away to your demise. It was where _he _always waited for her. The dark figure sat against the brick wall, head down and knees pulled up, giving him a menacing, hunched over look. He didn't so much as glance at her as she walked over and stood in front of him.

"Come on, Pein, time to go home."


	2. Denial

**A/N: I promise the next chapter will be better than this one...the last half was really a disappointment to me when I reread it...but I put it up anyways. Comments/reviews are SO appreciated! **

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"_Come on, Pein, time to go home."_

How many times had she said these words, so automatic at the end of the long and treacherous school day? And how many times had it been met with the painful silence that so often settled into it's comfortable place between them, refusing to move despite her shoves. But did she really want it to move? It would open something new and dangerous between them, something different. And how many times she'd learned it, this harsh lesson…different is bad, changes are bad. It was the number one lesson at her high school, and if you didn't learn it fast, then you were forever left to drift on the outskirts of school society. She'd refused to learn it, to accept something so horrible, and now she was left to drown in an ocean of conformity and hatred. Would she do it any differently if she had the chance? She had no doubt that the answer was no. Besides, she'd lose all the respect that she'd worked so hard to earn from _him…_from Pein. He was more different than anyone in Konoha could ever be, an all you can eat smorgasbord for the vicious rulers of the school. _The judge, jury, and executioner. _She could practically see their mouths water at the oncoming prey whenever he came into view of them, like dogs awaiting a juicy piece of meat to tear up and devour.

Pein lifted his head ever so slightly from its place resting in his arms, just enough so that his eyes could meet hers. They had once stricken her, with fear and wonder. Now, they just brought a sense of amazement to her, bewilderment at times. Hypnotic orb within orb, catching hers so easily and causing her to be lost in their dangerous trance. His irises were a deep pink, giving him a constantly intense and focused look, spiral's going inward and growing a fiery orange, like looking into the deepest depths of hell. She'd seen on so many occasions those eyes dance furiously, the flaming orange seeming almost to rage like flames before the watcher's very eyes. She heard their gasps of breath; their heartbeat echoing through her ears as it steadily beat again and again, growing fainter by the second as their faces paled translucent. She heard, again and again, those limp bodies drop onto the ground, the hypnotic eyes the last thing they saw before slipping into a dangerous sleep. But he'd never killed…well, never murdered anyone. But his eyes…they took the breath away from her and brought fright to the very core of her soul. _And you love it, _that taunting voice whispered from inside of her.

Pein gazed at her without a trace of emotion, as usual, in those swirling optics of his. It was hard not to notice, not to admire, the dazzling way the sunlight reflected off of his numerous silver peircings. Three abridged on his nose, two on his lip, a bar in each ear, and seven in each ear, she knew so painfully well by heart at this point. And, she couldn't forget, the one he had on his tongue, the one she barely saw. His silent demeanor made sure of that. But it was there, and every now and again, she caught glance of it shimmering on the back of his tongue, beautiful and shining.

A slight breeze of wind came through the dark alleyway, and Pein raised a hand to his auburn hair, light enough that it could be called orange by some. It was short, messy, and spiky, with plenty of indications that he never took care of it much. It was loosely held in its usual way with a cheap and simple band that was placed around his head like a black sweatband. But the style suited him perfectly, no matter how unusual it was.

Konan took a small, instinctive step back as he rose from his position, legs stretching out from their cramped position of being held against his chest. He rose to his feet, which were adorning ratty black sneakers, completely beat up looking. But they were comfortable, and that was all that mattered to him. Pein couldn't care less what people thought of him, about what they talked of in regard to his appearance. And that was evident by simply the way he dressed. He was clothed in heavy black, certainly not the most sensible for this weather, but it seemed to Konan that he didn't even notice this. If it suited him, he'd wear t-shirts in the winter without a single shiver, not a goose bump rising from his pale flesh. Right now, however, he wore a black hoodie, a few sizes too large, that was open to reveal a black t-shirt. His pants were of the same ebony color, and also large on him. It was almost amazing how they stayed in that perfect fit around his slim waist. She'd heard a few people laugh at his baggy clothing and a couple whispers of eating disorders. It was natural, she supposed, for people to assume he was hiding something, hiding his body. It was laughable, how wrong they were. Beneath those heavy clothes there was a slim and muscular body. He, though, chose not to advertise it as some of the guys – particularly the ones that picked on and bullied Konan – did.

Pein gave a stretch that could easily be mistaken for a tired, early morning one, as he loosened up his tight, cramped muscles, shaking it off before turning his head to her once more. Konan felt that familiar jolt as she felt his eyes on her, and willingly gazed back into his eyes, trying to get lost in their trance. He gave a slight grunt, recognizable by now to mean 'come on'. She willingly followed him, as she always would. It seemed the blue-haired female would follow him to the ends of the earth, willingly trail after him if he led her to the very depths of hell itself. She tried to deny this to herself, tell herself that she had way more independence than that, but it was futile. He was all she had, and her whole existence was based around him. She _needed _him. He was strong, steady, and someone she could depend on in the turmoil and chaos that she grudgingly called her life. It hadn't always been like that, not by a long shot, but that was in the past now. Buried and forgotten about, she told herself.

As the two walked in silence, the glare of glass caught Konan's eye, as it did so often. The junior stopped in her tracks and gave Pein a soft look. _Pleading, needy, pathetic,_ the voice laughed darkly. The male gave a sigh, but met her gaze once more as he looked at the familiar shop. It wasn't unexpected, or unusual in any sort, but this sometimes annoyed Pein. For he had a secret, one he would tell no one. _One secret? That's a laugh. _The seconds moved so much slower as he waited for Konan to finish up the school day, and seeing her and going home with her was the highlight of his day. He couldn't wait for her to finish her long hours at the high school, and sometimes he wished that she'd just skip the damn thing. _Pleading, needy, pathetic. _

"Go ahead." Pein said, as if she needed his permission, as if he were her keeper. It was habit, he supposed, to tell her what she could and could not do. And she seemed to abide by it, almost _need _the direction. Konan's expression brightened, even by just a shade, and that was enough to convince Pein that it was worth waiting some more for her. His hypnotic optics followed her as she muttered a thanks and entered the shop that she went into almost every other day, the bell chiming slightly in it's high pitched ring.

The slim girl entered the store happily, not that it showed on her face until she completely entered, for she didn't like to show too much emotion around Pein. She didn't know why, but then again, neither did he when asking himself the same question. It was like a silent, mutual agreement that they wouldn't share their feelings with each other. She certainly didn't want to burden him with something so pointless. And Pein didn't want to get into that dangerous place with her, get too comfortable with her. He knew how it felt to get too close to someone and suddenly have them torn away from you. It was the worst feeling in the world, like someone had torn off a piece of your very soul. Maybe it wasn't the best plan of attack to dispel this feeling, but he did so anyways.

The store's floor was covered in a soothingly beige carpet, the type that even looked comfortingly soft, and she could just imagine what it would feel like against bare feet. That was how the owner always walked around, no socks or shoes and adorning a humble, almost drab, dress. Some music flowed through the air, something old was all Konan could tell. She was actually quite fond of old-time music, and knew plenty of artists. But for some reason, this store's music was different, and each time she came it was completely different. The only thing in common was the fact that they were pre-sixties. It was a sound that relaxed you instantly, however, and she gave a small sniff into the air. The music wasn't the only relaxing thing. Scented candles gave the shop a homey, familiar smell that curved her lips into a smile every time. _I'm home._

A necklace caught her eye straight away, placed in plain view as if it were meant for her. It was, like most of the merchandise of the shop, quite antique-looking. Most people her age steered clear of this shop, labeling it _thrifty _or for _old folks. _They didn't know what they were missing. While they shopped at their Hollister and Aeropostale, checking out the trendy cute clothes that so obviously flaunted the brand names, she was here, in the place more comfortable and more homier than her own apartment. The necklace was made of some low-carat gold, with that dark and faded look that it had when it'd gone for a long while without polishing, and had a beautiful sapphire contained in the small golden oval attached to it. The color perfectly, she realized with happy disbelief, matched her hair.

The necklace carefully gripped in one hand, long and slender fingers holding it as if it were fragile and could break any second, the eager female strode over to the register. She placed it down on the counter, and gave the clerk – also the owner – a familiar smile. The older woman returned it, sweeping a lock of her long silver hair from her face. It wasn't grey, she'd denied on many occasions, but _silver. _And Konan could very much agree, for it shimmered more than any grey she'd ever seen. The lady didn't look that old, in her opinion, for there were hardly any wrinkles on her face, and her hands looked still young and skillful as she bagged the purchase. But there was something in her eyes, Konan always noticed, that showed years upon years of experience and stories.

"How much?" Konan questioned, taking out her wallet and going through it. She was going through a rough time, money-wise, but this shop always had a fair price, and some items were most certainly a bargain. The old woman gave a soft laugh, like the beautiful tinkling sound of small bells being rung. Her lips, still rather young looking as well, curved into a teasing smile.

"I thought you'd like this, it's quite a beautiful piece of jewelry, wouldn't you agree?" She asked, before giving Konan the price. The blue-haired female blinked a bit at the price, a bit steep for her wallet. But she decided it was worth it, taking out the crisp green bills and gently sliding them across the counter, her soft blue eyes meeting the crinkled laughing ones of the older female.

"Yes, yes I do." She said in a soft, whispery voice. Her unpainted lips curved into the tiniest of smiles as she took the bag into her hands, gripping it securely with her long and slender fingers.

"Thank you." Konan muttered, turning and starting abruptly to walk away towards the door, not wanting, almost _afraid _to keep Pein waiting for long. It was a horrible feeling, of course, but her fear had nothing to do with angering him over it, as some men tended to get, but rather with him getting in trouble. The police was particularly biased to the orange-haired male, and more than once he'd found himself under a hard, black nightstick. Not that he ever cried or complained, no matter how hard he was beaten by corrupt cops, but simply lay still on the ratty couch as Konan tended to his wounds silently.

"Wait." Konan turned with an expression of surprise as the familiar voice called out to her, stopping her straight in her path. The elder never spoke that loudly, different from her usual soft and teasing voice.

"That boy out there, the one with all that metal stuck in him, is he your boyfriend?" She asked, not in a nosey matter at all, but rather curious and with that tone of understanding that had Konan feel more at ease than if anyone else had said it. But it wasn't enough to quell the tensing of her shoulders, the paling of her face.

"No." Was her simple and quick denial. The old woman closed her eyes and gave a small sigh of comprehension.

"Then you should tell him soon. About how you feel." The owner said. Konan quickly stared into the woman's eyes for a few moments before leaving the shop in a hurried manner, calming her expression to show no signs of her frayed state of mind at the moment. The woman's words echoed in her mind before she quickly pushed them aside, where hopefully they'd be forgotten.

Konan's gaze fell again on the awaiting Pein, faking a small smile for him, knowing he wouldn't notice. He never did. The orange-haired male gazed back at her as she arrived, going over and eying her bag curiously. She almost never bought anything from the small shop, which was part of his confusion about why she even went in there. Almost no one else did, and he noticed that they didn't exactly sell the best merchandise. He couldn't understand it…not like Konan could.

"What'd you buy?" He asked, the curiosity getting the better of him, as it often did. He could keep himself in check most of the time, his emotions and such, but when something compelled him so to ask, he'd do so without hesitation. And as the blue-haired female showed him the necklace, he gave an approving murmur.

"It's nice." He stated simply, saying no more to his feelings on it. Which were, in fact, minimal.

"Thanks." Her simple response came back. Their eyes met for a few more long seconds, seeming to drag on for all of eternity as the words echoed in her head like a steady chant from some exotic tribe, growing louder and more insistent with each passing moment that her eyes gazed into his.

_Tell him…tell him…tell him._

Shaking underneath her clothes, Konan tore her gaze away and opened her pale lips to speak, no words coming out of them. No words could escape the prison she held them in, right alongside her true feelings.

"Let's go." She said finally, and the two continued on their way to the small apartment, staying in that comfortable silence for the rest of the interminable day.


	3. Memories

_What the hell, man?_

_Voices rise to the high and dark sky, voices echoing in the crowd, making it hard for her to make out those next vital words. She sees the lip motions again and again, but what were they saying? What were they saying…The words buzzed louder…and louder still! Her hands cover her ears in a flash as her eyes squeeze shut. _

_(I don't want to know…I don't want to know…)_

_Just chill out, why don't you?_

_It's his voice…the one that haunted her dreams day and night, the one that had whispered all those sweet words into her ears. The voice that followed her still in everything she did._

_Yeah, well why don't you just fucking DIE!_

_Rage…so much rage. Why, why did you have to say that? You monster…you're nothing but a monster! _

_Two hands shoot out, the hands she has to face every day. Disgusting hands of a monster…those set of beautiful eyes so wide, a stumble backwards and a sharp intake of breath._

_It's unbearable, and she gets on her knees, eyes shut tightly. So why can she still see? Perfect clarity…everything in plain view._

_(Oh please God, make it STOP!)_

_Everything slows, moving at a speed so painful to watch. A screech fills her ears, again and again, overlapping noise that brings her to the brink of her sanity. A scream…his scream…_

_(Oh God, why him?)_

_The stench of blood rings clear in her nose again, death causing her eyes to water. Tears, so many tears…how they stain the body of her beloved. Nothing left now, nothing but a mess. He's not a person anymore, he's just someone else's mess to clean. His eyes…_

_(Stop it! Stop staring at me!)_

_cold and glazed with death. Her hands, oh god her hands! Grey drips off of them, painted so mindlessly and happily this morning. It's his brains, she has his brains on her hands. Her eyes dart to the other boy…the murderer. The monster. The heartless._

_(My friend.)_

_And she begins to scream._

"Something wrong?" Pein asked, turning towards the awoken girl, having heard her shrieks ring clear in the night. For a second she stared at him, utter repulsion in her eyes. All she could see was that boy, that demented monster. His eyes…the last thing _he_'d seen, gazed into hers as if there was nothing wrong. Disgusting. Konan couldn't look anymore; it drove her to the very edge of her sanity just to do so, to look at this monster. Why was she here with him? Why was she sharing this bed with a murderer?

_(Why, oh why, oh why?)_

And in a flash, it was all over. She saw the shaken man again, the one she'd grown up with for years. The silent man who hadn't smiled or laughed since…since 'the incident'. He wasn't a murderer…simply the victim of that accident. He was simply the man who'd dealt with this all his life.

_(The man who insinuated himself into your life, slowly taking over _his_ identity…)_

The man she loved.

"No, nothing's wrong, Pein." Konan whispered in her breezy voice, as her lying eyes closed yet again. This time, those terrors didn't dance behind her eyelids, the screams haunt her still. This time she slept all through the night, not a sound escaping her lips as she slumbered in the darkness.

_(Why, oh why, oh why?)_


	4. Conformity

A/N: Okay, first off, sorry it took so long to update. And also, I realize in this chapter that Sakura's pretty out of character, but I needed someone to play that role. And I swear that this chapter DOES have an actual point to it. Also, REVIEW please!

"And if you take the exponential root of this number, you…" The teacher at the front of the classroom droned on in his usual monotonous way. It was as if he was oblivious to the gossip and giggles of the young students in his class.

"Oh my god, did you hear?"

"No way…"

"And then he said…"

Little pieces of conversation here and there penetrated Konan's distant state. One hand pressed against her cheek, elbow set firmly on the table, she stared off into space with a distant look upon her face. This was how she generally spent first period, bored out of her mind. She would study it later, of course, and by this time she'd be both more awake and more apt to absorb the information being taught. Something about radicals, she figured, from the little she picked up. It wasn't really something the blue-haired female found interest in. It was as if she simply changed the setting on the radio when she heard his voice.

As easy as it was for her to tune out the teacher, though, she found it next to impossible to ward off the hushed words of her classmates. A glance here, a giggle in her direction there, it was obvious she was the topic of quite some conversation. Konan told herself it didn't matter what they said, and that they didn't matter in the least. She tried to grit her teeth and bear the annoyance. But it was hard sometimes…it really was. It didn't help, of course, that they made their voices _just _loud enough to hear. Teenage girls could be amazing sometimes in that ability.

"Like, seriously…she's such a slut…"

"You mean…"

"Yeah…_her_."

"Oh…like, yeah! You know that guy?"

"Her trashy boyfriend?"

"Yeah, that one. He's totally on the run from the law."

"Are you freaking kidding me?"

"No, I heard it from my boyfriend's cousin, who knows from…" And it wasn't as if that were the only exchange going on. There were probably tons just like it in other classrooms, too. Was this new? No, definitely not. But still…it bothered her. It bothered her a lot. Who were they to judge him? Did they even _know _him? No! They took one look at Pein and deemed him a freak, trash, and a delinquent. Sometimes there were times that Konan was just at the point of snapping…she just wanted to stand up and scream at them. What the hell did _they _know? Were they the ones that stood by him during those countless tearful nights? Were they the ones that watched as he turned from a troubled, sobbing child into an even more troubled, and yet stronger teenager? No, they weren't. So how dare they make judgments on the kind of person he was? It was these insults more than the ones directed towards her that really hurt and enraged her.

A loud ring filled the room everyone filed out as quickly as possible, chattering all the way. Konan gathered up her books, luckily there weren't too many of them, and headed out as well. Her eyes were set on the ground, their usual position, and her bangs swept downwards so that her blue eyes – almost _violet _in color – were hidden in the dark shadow that they cast. Suddenly, she felt the ground slip from underneath her, and her small body hit the ground. Books scattered in various directions with a collective _thud_. She felt her body ache, and bruises would surely form in just a short while. A snicker was heard from the crowd, and Konan slowly lifted her head to gaze into green eyes, heavily outlined with eyeliner. A scrape was heard as the heel of an expensive shoe slid back from it's outstretched position. With another snicker, the person who had tripped the blue-haired teen, Sakura Haruno, walked away.

Konan's gaze swiveled around to all the students watching. Weren't any of them going to help her? Obviously not…they were too worried about their own reputation to stop and give a hand to some freak. She gathered her books and began to stand up, shifting all the materials to one arm. With her other hand, she swept the bangs from her eyes.

"Hey." Konan snapped. Sakura stopped and looked back at her, a smug expression on her painted-on face.

"Yes?" She asked, voice sugary sweet. Konan felt anger at this more than anything. Fake, just like the rest of her. Just like the rest of _everyone_ here.

"N-nothing." She said, looking downward again. How stupid of her, to think she could stand up for herself. She'd just be pushed back down, and things would be worse than ever. Best just to go with the flow, let herself be swept in whatever direction was wished by her 'peers'. They didn't even deserve to be called that.

"Thought so." Sakura said. And with a toss of her dyed hair, she walked away, stopping only to giggle and wave at some raven-haired boy that Konan didn't recognize. Obviously he was with the in crowd, and she'd seen him around before, but Konan didn't really pay attention to those things.

She walked through the hall to her next class, and was almost there when she felt a touch on her shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay?" The voice came. Deidara's.

"I'm fine." Konan said, as she always did. A lie, as always. And just as these became part of her routine, Deidara played his part by pretending to believe her. Everyone always did. Pein was the only exception to that, and Konan never knew whether to be annoyed by it, or relieved at the sign of caring about her. The blonde left her then, and Konan continued on in silence, swept through the day like a piece of paper in the wind.


	5. Confession

_Hissssss_

"Don't lie to me, Konan."

"I…I'm not lying to you, Pein." The orange-haired male let out a deep sigh, and Konan had to try hard to keep from coughing as the smoke hit her face. Though luckily for her, Pein was now crushing his cigarette into the ashtray. She hated the smell of the things, and hated watching him smoke them even more.

"Alright then." He said, gazing away with those eyes of his that refused to tell what he was thinking. Pein stood up then, and walked over to the cabinet, rummaging through it. Konan already knew what he was going to get. She rubbed her arm nervously, gazing at the bruise-covered skin. The injuries just stood out even more because of her pale pigmentation. Needless to say, her 'companion' had noticed them immediately. He noticed everything.

"You just seem a bit…unsettled." Pein said in his flat voice. He knew…she could tell. He _knew_. Konan always believed him to be the most intelligent person she knew, and so she could hide nothing from him. Because he knew more about her than anyone else ever could. The sound of a match striking was heard, and Konan averted her eyes immediately. She'd never told him so, but it was painful to watch him do this. Though in some cases, silence told all.

"Can I have one?" She asked, watching as he took a puff of the joint he held so carelessly in one hand. As if he'd been doing it for years. Which, for all she knew, he had been. He'd only revealed his habit to her recently, though. She watched as his eyes went from empty, to full of emotion for one split second.

"No!" He snapped, before his demeanor went back to the one of calm collection that it had been just moments earlier. Konan's crossed her legs nervously, putting one trembling hand atop her knee. She'd never gathered up the courage to ask before, and had never even contemplated smoking weed so seriously. But the stuff seemed to calm Pein down some, and she definitely needed to relax. Her muscles were tense, eyes scared. Anyone could tell she was on edge. Pein certainly could, and as he took another long drag on the joint, he closed his eyes and visibly relaxed before addressing her again.

"You don't want to get involved with this shit, Konan. Trust me." He said, his eyes meeting hers. And she did. Trust him, that is. As there gazes met, she could see for the first time in a while the broken soul beneath. Eyes are sometimes called the window to the soul…but Pein layered that window with curtain after curtain, putting drapes up to block the soul from leaking out into visibility. As far as Konan knew, she was the only one who'd ever managed to push a few of those layers back. Now was one of those times. It was worry that was reflected in that window. Worry and sadness. One thing was for sure, there wasn't an ounce of greed there. His reason for keeping it from her was out of something other than selfishness. But she didn't dare look too far into it. Her gaze tore away, unable to stand how broken he looked. Then in a second, the hard stare was back. Everything was back to normal.

"Alright." Konan said quietly. Her eyes closed as she shifted on the messy covers of the small bed the two shared. It wasn't a large bed, and they usually slept back to back, with her facing the wall. There was nothing sexual about it, though. It was a simple matter of convenience and tight funds. She made a little with her job as a waitress. Thought it wasn't nearly enough even for the rent. Pein made the rest. She didn't ask how, didn't even think about it when she could help it. She pressed her back against the wall, bringing her knees to her small chest and wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Tell me." Her roommate said bluntly, plopping down next to her. He took another long drag on the joint, exhaling a puff of odd smelling smoke into her face. This time she couldn't help it, and immediately started off into a coughing fit.

"I wish you'd stop doing that." She said between hacks. He sighed.

"Me too." Pein said. Konan looked away silently. She hadn't meant that she wished he'd stopped smoking, though she very much did. And he knew she hadn't meant that either.

"Now spill, Konan. Don't keep secrets from me. I don't keep them from you." He said. It was with that statement that Konan found her self-restraint snapping at last. All the pain and bitterness that had built up over the last twenty-four hours…over the last few _years_, found itself beginning to leak out like the liquid of a shaken soda bottle spilling through the closed cap.

"Really now, Pein? Then mind telling me why you really ran away from the foster home?" She asked. The words took immediately. All color drained out of his face, and his bloodshot eyes turned away. Another layer gone, and hurt lay beneath all the cracks in that window. The cracks tearing apart his soul.

"It's none of your concern. I don't want you getting involved." He said, his voice flat and devoid of emotion.

"Of course it's my business! I'm the one harboring you here, and you can't even give me some honesty in return? That's not fair, Pein. It's selfish. Why can't you just stop thinking about yourself for once?" Konan snapped, knowing immediately she'd gone too far. He wasn't always selfish. It was just this one thing that she felt he was being so self-absorbed about. Why, she wondered, couldn't he let her in on his life? She gave him everything, why couldn't he give her even the truth in return?

"You think I don't want to, Konan? I don't like keeping stuff from you, not at all. But this way you can plead ignorance, in case something goes wrong. You're protected." He said. Now it was her turn to pale and grow form some new cracks in her already damaged soul. He'd been thinking of her the whole time. He was protecting her, the whole damn time. But his efforts could never shield her from hearing the gossip passed on at school. Most of which it seemed were true after all.

"I was tripped, alright? That's all. A girl tripped me in the hallway today, and I guess I landed a little roughly." Konan admitted, feeling she owed him at least that much.

"Who?" Pein asked simply.

"Hm?" Konan said, confused.

"Who tripped you?" At once, an alarm went off in the teenage girl's mind. Telling him would be a bad idea…she'd have to be insane to give this unstable man the name.

"Sakura Haruno." The words were out before she could help it. The auburn-haired teen took a last drag on his joint before disposing of it. He exhaled one last stream of smoke before standing up. Konan wiped her watery eyes with the back of her hand, wondering if she'd ever get used to that.

"Where're you going?" She asked through a strained voice that held back her coughs.

"Oh, just off to take care of a little bit of business." He said with a smirk. Konan felt fear come to her at the very sight of it.

"A-alright." She stuttered, unable to challenge him. That last act of bravery still had her trembling.

"And one more thing, Konan?" He said, stopping in the doorway and looking back at her.

"Yeah?" She asked, hoping her voice wasn't trembling as well.

"Tomorrow? Tell Miss Haruno I said hello." And with one last wink, he was gone.


	6. Confrontation

The minute Konan stepped into the school, she knew something was very, very wrong. The chattering, the gossip, the tittering laughs, all of it stopped as soon as she entered visual range. And just when she was about to leave earshot, whispers were passed furiously from person to person. The blue-haired teen had to resist the urge to run out of the school. Her stomach churned, and her face paled more than usual. This couldn't have anything to do with yesterday, could it?

"Is she the one who…?" A cut off whisper. Did they really think she couldn't hear them?

"Yeah, now be quiet. _She's_ coming."

"Ooh, this'll be good." If there was any time for bolting, that would've been it. But Konan's legs felt too wobbly to obey the urgent commands from her brain. Fight or flight…she'd always been one for the latter. It didn't bother her that she was a coward. At least, most of the time it didn't. But right now, all she wanted to do was run as fast as she could, and to get away from that place. She could feel the stares, those burning gazes, against her skin. Each movement of their sharp tongues was felt intensely, causing a fresh wound with every stab.

_Oh Pein, what did you do?_ Konan thought. Experience and meager pride alone kept the tears that pushed from her ducts from her darting eyes. She would never give the vultures that satisfaction, and she'd never let them know that they broke her down a long time ago. Her mind snapped into an automatic mode, and she mechanically piled her backpack, torn and tattered, into her neat locker. She kept it organized, so she could find anything easily. Why couldn't life be that way? So easily controlled? Her eyes moved up when she heard a familiar voice, spotting two of her…'friends'. Had she ever considered them friends? Deidara's gaze went over her, slightly sympathetic. But other than that, he showed no acknowledgement towards her, and directed all his attention back on Sasori.

_Et tu, Brutus?_ Konan thought bitterly. But the sadness cracked through, and a single tear wet her eye.

_BANG! _And ear shattering noise filled the hallway. Then again, given how silent the hall was, it wasn't very hard. Konan stood frozen, staring at her slammed-shut locker. A few drops of blood trickled from her pale, slender forefinger, which she'd scraped while just barely avoiding getting it jammed in the locker. Adrenaline pulsed through her system, her skinny chest rising and falling in silent huffs of frightened breath. Her muscles stiffened, eyes wide. The tear was gone, and now all that remained was a feeling of ominous dread.

"What? Scared, bitch?" That voice was so completely familiar…oh, she'd known it all along. Sakura. Why had she even come to school today, knowing what she'd face? Well, she already knew the answer to that. It was the one word that summed up almost everything so completely. Denial. She'd hoped Pein wasn't _that _out of touch with reality.

A quick, stabbing pain shot through Konan's shoulder and head, and she found her front pressed up against the lockers. Her cheek was met with cold metal, her skull banging against the hard surface. Her blue eyes shut tightly, and she let out a shiver as she shifted to free herself from the hand around her opposite shoulder, the one that _wasn't_ being pressed at such an awkward angle against a bulky, painful lock. She managed to choke out a low growl, as she finally broke free and spun around, and confirmed her suspicions.

There stood the pink-haired terror, looking not nearly as intimidating as usual. A circle of black surrounded her right eye, and there were plenty of other bruises covering her face as well. Her nose was crusted over with dried blood, peeking out from under the bandages. That wasn't the only bandaged area, though. Her wrist, for one, was bandaged, and obviously broken given all the swelling of skin pressing up against the material.

"What happened?" Stupid question, Konan knew. It'd just make things that much more worse for her. She watched as those emerald green eyes narrowed to intense spite.

"Oh, like you don't know! How low can you stoop, ordering your boyfriend to jump me like that?" Sakura snapped.

"Boyfriend?" The words escaped Konan's lips before she could stop them. Spoken to herself, the word was heard and interpreted by the other teen.

"You know who I'm talking about! That druggie you're sleeping with. That bastard you're blowing." She said, giving Konan a few more shakes against the locker. Konan's eyes grew wide, and tears stung at them, before they finally pulled free from there hold and poured wildly down the pale female's face. Her scabby lips parted, but instead of sobs, a bout of laughter came. She doubled over in hysterics, finally breaking from all of this.

"Don't you laugh at me you little whore!" Sakura said, pulling back her own fist.

"Wait! I'm supposed to tell you," Konan managed between fits, "that Pein says hello."

And that was when all hell broke loose.


	7. Goodbye

"May I take your order?" Her tone was dead, her eyes uncaring as the young child stared before whispering something to his mother, who immediately scolded him. Konan didn't care…it meant nothing to her. She was far too used to these stares. She was numb to it now. The black eye and bruises that were slowly forming on her pale face only brought more unwanted attention for the outcast. She wrote down the family's orders without really listening, her thoughts a million worlds away. Then, the blue-haired female began to walk away…though limp would probably be the more accurate term. Her leg was sore, having been rammed into a locker and fallen on in an awkward position. It was one of the few injuries she could remember getting. Everything had just gone black, it seemed. She'd managed to fill in the details later, though.

Her and Sakura had gotten into a scuffle, that much was obvious. Konan had emerged with a black eye, multiple bruises, and aches all over her petite body. Sakura had been at a disadvantage, of course, and ended up with worse injuries than the one's Pein had given her the day before. The blue-haired teen had ended up going straight from detention – it was a miracle she hadn't gotten suspended – to work, dreading the moment she'd have to go home and face her roommate. Was she mad at him for causing this? The young girl didn't even know…but she would find out soon enough.

"Konan! There's a new customer at table nine for you to wait on." Deidara, who was one of her co-workers as well as a classmate, reported. Konan just gave a nod and headed over to the table he had mentioned. It was a small one that sat only two people, right by the window. A favorite seating spot for couples, she knew. Just what she wanted to see right now…some teens making out. She walked on over, her face not the one of warmth and friendliness that brought in the big bucks in tips. At that moment, she didn't think she could manage to fake such joyfulness.

Immediately, she noticed the shock of orange hair. That was a dead giveaway right there. Along with the fact that the fluorescent light caused the single occupant's piercings to dazzle brilliantly. No way was she going to wait that table. Her mind raced for a way to get out of doing just that. Obviously he'd picked that table especially for her. Konan mentally scolded herself for not realize he'd do such a thing. After all, she hadn't met him like usual after school.

"Kakuzu!" She called, though careful to keep her voice down enough so that Pein couldn't hear. She hurried away from the dreaded man, going over and placing a hand on her fellow waiter's shoulder. The man immediately stopped walking, his hands around the metal bar of the tray cart that carried the orders to customers. He turned and gave her a harsh stare that almost softened when he saw her condition. Kakuzu was one of the few people Konan actually socialized with. Except for Pein and a few others, she mostly kept to herself, even at work. But even so, she knew pity when she saw it, and that was the only reason the miser hadn't snapped at her yet.

"What is it? I need to get these to table four, or they won't leave a good tip." The greedy male stated. No surprise to her, of course. It seemed that the only thing that was ever on Kakuzu's mind was making some green.

"Can I ask a favor of you?" She asked, hoping to catch his interest. Maybe she could play on the money angle.

"Depends on the favor." He replied.

"Well…" Konan said, looking back to Pein, who now looked a bit impatient as he waited at his table, fingers drumming and annoyed eyes scanning over the menu for the umpteenth time. "Could you serve him? I know it's an odd question, but can you please? I'll pay you five dollars if you do."

Kakuzu looked contemplative, looking over the orange-haired male at table nine. It was several torturous seconds later that he replied.

"No." Simple, but final.

"Why not?" She asked, hating her pushy tone of voice as soon as it came out.

"I know his type. They don't order a lot, and their tips are crappy, if they leave one at all. I won't do it for under twenty-five dollars." He bartered.

Konan stared at him, thinking the offer over. No…she didn't have that much money laying around to spare. She needed every cent she could get. Already, she was behind on her rent…it was impossible.

"Alright, well…" She said softly. "Sorry for taking up your time." With that, she turned away, leaving her co-worker to do his job. She hesitantly went over to the table that Pein sat at, refusing to look at him as she stood next to the table. Out of the corner of her eye, though, she could see he wasn't looking at her, either. The menu seemed to fascinate him.

"So did you get the message to…" Pein started, bringing that burning stare of his up to her, the one that caused shivers to move up and down her aching spine. "What happened to you?" His tone was that of shock, feebly hid behind his usual façade of calmness. It failed miserably, and she could see that this genuinely surprised him. To think she'd thought this man was _intelligent_! And was that worry she caught in his voice? She hated it…everything about him. At this moment, she stared at the man she loved and saw nothing but a monster.

"Isn't it obvious? I got into a fight. Guess who with?" She said, voice harsh but not raised.

"Sakura?" Pein asked weakly, not used to this tone of hers. He was still recovering from the shock of seeing her so beat up as well.

"That's right. Very good, Pein! And guess who's fault it is?"

"I suppose that somehow it would be mine?" His cold tone was back now.

"No, of course not. When you go and beat someone up, they _never_ go looking for revenge. Whatever would make you think that?"

He was getting fed up with this, she could tell. "Cut it out, Konan. I did you a favor." Pein said, folding his arms across his chest and glaring at her.

"A favor! You call getting me beat up a _favor_? What the hell is wrong with you? Are you so out of touch with reality that you honestly think it'd help to provoke my tormenter? No wonder everyone hates you; you know nothing about people! You're too busy being absorbed in your own little world." She snapped. "You don't help me at all…you're nothing but a…a…" She stuttered as she tried to find the right word. "A monster. A murderer." The tables around her were staring at her now, as were some of her co-workers. Her eyes were intent on the male in front of her, but she could feel the burning hot stares of everyone. She could hear the whispers being given, the lies they were telling.

"I see…well on second thought, I don't think I would like to eat at this establishment." Pein said after a few seconds of heavy silence. His eyes reflected hurt, something that couldn't be hidden, no matter how hard he may have tried. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a leather wallet, opening it up. Visible was a picture of him, Konan, and…it hurt to see it, but the other boy was in that picture as well. So beautiful and full of life…before he'd died. Before he was _murdered. _Pein dug into the wallet and pulled out a fat wad of cash, held together loosely by a rubber band that looked like it was strained to the point of eyed it in shock, wondering how he'd managed to obtain so much money. He didn't have a job that she knew of…could he have _stolen_ it?

"Take it. This should cover my half of the rent until you find someone else to pay it." He said quietly, placing it into her hands. "And I'm sorry. For everything. For wasting so much of your time. For getting you hurt like that. That's the last thing I'd ever want." He looked into her eyes now, pausing before lowering his voice to a whisper. "Goodbye." Konan just stared as he stood up and walked out of the café, finding herself completely speechless. The place had gone almost completely silent, and all the attention was directed on her once Pein had disappeared from the building. When the shock finally passed, and her body found the ability to move again, she sprinted over to the door, going outside and looking around frantically. Pein was nowhere to be seen.

"Pein…" She called, voice frightened. She got no response but the glaring stares of strangers who went out of their way to avoid her as she looked through the small crowd. Tears streamed down her face, and she wiped them away as silent sobs wracked through her body. Why had she said those things? She was horrible…just horrible. He wasn't a monster at all, he was…he was a god to her. Magnificent and wonderful. And…untouchable. So why did he have to do these things to her? All she wanted to do was love him…so why wouldn't he let her? Why wouldn't she let _herself? _She shook violently, face shining and stained with salty tears that just wouldn't stop coming. It was Deidara who finally came out of the restaurant to check on her. This was the place she'd first met the blonde, and they shared most of their shifts. She'd come to learn a lot about the young artist…sculpter, to be exact…but never truly considered him a friend. It surprised her that he had come out looking for her. She felt his hand on her shoulder, but found it didn't calm her at all.

"The manager says you can take a few days off, un." He said softly. Konan couldn't even manage a thank you as she wiped away the tears, trying to force the sobs away.

"He's gone…" She muttered, all she could manage.

"Boyfriend?" He asked calmly. She shook her head, feeling no words come to her.

"Oh…" Was all the blonde could come up with.

"He was my roommate…" She settled on at last, though it was obvious that Pein was much more to her than that.

"Oh…" Deidara said again. "Well would you like to spend the night at my place? I've got a spare bedroom you could use, un."

Konan was suspicious at once, as any girl would be faced with an offer like this. Could he be taking advantage of her? She immediately settled on no, that was not the case. She'd known Deidara for quite some time now, and knew he wasn't that type of guy. Though…she didn't know him too well. The blue-haired female never let anyone get _too _close. Save for Pein, of course. And if how that had turned out was any example…she wouldn't be letting anyone in anytime soon.

"Alright." She whispered with a nod. "Thank you." Then, the artistic male wrapped an arm around her waist, causing Konan to tense up immediately. She relaxed, though, when she realized he was just leading her back to his apartment, and giving her something to lean on. Maybe her limp had been obvious. Or maybe he just thought she'd appreciate the comfort. Either way, she felt awkward and uncomfortable in this position, despite what the blonde may have thought. But she allowed herself to be led back to his apartment, tears streaming down her cheeks all the way.


	8. Rainfall

**A/N: Alright, sorry for the wait. I had a LOT of trouble with this chapter, though. I went through about three or four different rewrites of this, some being completely different from this one. But…I'm really not sure about this chapter at all, and it's really been bothering me. It took me a couple weeks just to decide to post it. Please…your reviews would help me a lot. It would help me decide whether this chapter is adequate or not, because at the moment, I'm really just testing it w/ you. Which means, if you hate it, then review. Really. If you dislike it, then review. Really. Because if it's bad, I want to know, and I can always change it if it goes over badly with you guys. So please, enjoy. You guys are great, and I love receiving each and every one of your reviews.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…obviously.**

Who was it the sky wept for tonight?

Konan's gaze was intently focused on the window opposite her, entranced by the rain that pounded against the glass. Her own tears were spilling down her pale cheeks, dripping off her and onto the bed. One by one, small dots darkened the bedspread. So many tears were falling tonight, and after a few minutes, she could no longer bear to watch the ones being shed by the heavens. Her eyes shut tight, her own flow of tears not letting up. Coldness overtook her, even though she was curled up beneath multiple layers of heavy covers. Goosebumps arose on her flesh, and her body trembled slightly, stopping only when a sob wracked through her. And even then, the shaking started back up almost immediately. Even the breaths she took were shaky, her lips quivering as they parted slightly.

Was the rain a good sign, or a terrible omen? The blue-haired teen found herself contemplating this once more. There was no blocking out the thoughts of her heavily-pierced roommate, and each new one only added to the sorrow she felt. Pein loved the rain, though he'd never said so. But she knew, for he'd made it obvious, even if he hadn't meant to. Whenever the tell-tale signs of an approaching storm showed themselves, he was at the window, watching with anticipation. On occasion, she'd found him sitting, even walking, outside in the rain. She'd noticed that he even slept better when rain fell. That was understandable, though. The soft pitter-patter of the drops on the glass was always soothing for her as well. Tonight being the exception. Instead, all she could think about was Pein being outside in this weather. What if he caught an illness? What if he got hurt? Did he have a place to stay? He'd never spoken to her about another residence, and she hadn't seen any more money in his wallet, aside from the bills he'd given her. She kept the wad carefully tucked into the pocket of her jeans, which lay folded neatly on the ground. She lay naked but for her bra and underwear, her body hidden under the sheets.

"Konan, are you alright, un?"

The voice penetrated her deep thoughts so suddenly, that Konan could not help but give a little start. She turned quickly to rest her eyes on the blonde that'd interrupted her, muscles tense and eyes watery. Deidara's blue eyes widened a bit as she did this, and she couldn't tell if it was because he'd realized he'd surprised her, or because he hadn't known the extent of her tension.

"I'm fine." She said, voice betraying her, as it warbled pathetically. The female scolded herself for sounding so needy, and being unable to at least appear strong in front of her friend.

"You sure? Do you need anything? Want to talk, un?" Deidara pestered, his persistence irking Konan. But she couldn't tell him to leave her alone, not after the great generosity he'd shown.

"No, I don't wish to speak, and I don't need anything." She said softly, watching him with her watery eyes. Dismay ran through her as the male began to make himself comfortable beside her. He slipped under the covers and placed his head on the pillow beside Konan's. Her first, automatic response was to draw back some, afraid that he might try something. Fear shot through her as she felt his hand grip her wrist, albeit without much force. She relaxed some as he shushed her, but her heart still hammered against her chest.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Konan. I just thought you might want some company, un." Deidara said in a reassuring voice as he removed his hand from her. The already traumatized girl let her guard down just a bit, but her eyes watched his every move. Could she deny him? No, it was his house. She had no right to tell him where he could and could not lay.

"Okay." She whispered, not daring to close her eyes again just yet. She still didn't feel very safe. But then again, when would she ever feel safe? When _had _she ever felt safe? Never, she realized. At least not since 'the incident'. But dwelling on that unpleasant memory would bring nothing but more pain for her, and so she forced it away.

"So…" the artistic male started off, "where do you live?"

Konan recognized the tactic at once. Ask small, insignificant questions at first, which would eventually lead to bigger questions. The ones she'd refused to answer. There was no danger in answering, though, if she kept in mind his intentions.

"The lower eastern part of town. I live in a small apartment facing one of the alleyways." She said, bracing herself for the next question.

"What's your place like?" He asked, not the question she'd expected. Maybe Deidara was better at this than she'd thought. Or maybe he really was just curious, without any of the hidden motives she'd suspected. Maybe she was just being paranoid.

"Small." Was the first word that came to mind. "One bedroom, one full bathroom, a living room, and a small kitchen. Pretty dingy place, but the rent is low." She didn't mention that it was inconspicuous as well, and that they'd been living there long before it was legal. Pein had gotten them in, and she'd never dared to ask how. Probably fake identities, she realized now. That, or a bribe. Given the shadiness of the manager and tenants, it wouldn't have been very hard.

"So you and your roommate slept together, un?" The urge to clam up overwhelmed Konan, but she managed to fight it. After all, it was the expected question. She'd given him that information, so of course he'd draw that conclusion. For all she knew, the question was meant literally.

"We shared a bed, yes. But that was all." She answered, having to remind herself it was in the past tense. Speaking it aloud made it seem so much more real, and therefore, so much more painful.

"Oh. So what's his name?"

"Pein." Her lips trembled as she whispered the name, and the tears started coming faster than ever. "His name is Pein."

"Do you love him?" The pure shock of being asked this took Konan's breath away, and the sobs subsided long enough for her to answer. Much thought went into the words she'd use. Should she be honest? Why not? Even though she hadn't expected the question, she should have. It must've been so obvious to the blonde, what with the way this was tearing her up. And even so, what was the honest answer? She struggled with this for over a minute, before parting her lips and opening her eyes once more to stare straight into his. She gathered up all the strength and courage she could muster, and yet still her voice was but a shaky whisper as she finally answered the question she'd been asking herself for so long.

"Yes...so very much..."


	9. Impulse

**A/N: Sorry for the wait, everyone. Personal things, plus some procrastination, prevented me from getting it done in a timely manner. Not a good excuse, I know. Regardless...here's the newest chapter. I hope you enjoy, and I'd greatly appreciate your thoughts on it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not, and never will, own Naruto...how depressing...**

_Pitter-patter…pitter-patter…pitter-patter…_

The first thing Konan saw when she awoke, was that the rain still hadn't let up. If anything, it was coming down _faster _than before. A single ray of sunlight shone through the window, illuminating the small drops of water that merged and danced upon the glass pane. A smile tugged at her lips upon sight of it, but that died at once, as a heavy cloud covered up the last bit of light, throwing the room into darkness once more. A low rumble of thunder shook the ground, and tears continued to fall from the blackened heavens.

Konan rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. She thought back to last night, and the confessions that had been made. Why had she admitted all that to Deidara? She hardly knew the guy. She hadn't even been able to confess some of it to _herself _before talking with him. But she'd felt so desperate to confide in someone, and Deidara had been all ears. Pein had never been there for her to talk to, and now…well, now he wasn't there at all. Tears threatened to escape as her thoughts turned to that painful subject, but she quickly blinked them away. It was a new day, and she wasn't about to spend all day moping around in bed. Especially when the bed wasn't even hers.

The smell of fresh pancakes wafted in, pleasuring Konan's nose in spite of herself. The hot, fresh aroma of the breakfast dish, combined with the sweet scent of maple syrup was enough to make her mouth water. There was even a teasing hint of powdered sugar in it. The scent was enough to make Konan get out of bed, despite the depression that was draining her.

Her clothes from the day previous were rumpled from being slept in. She'd been too grieved to even think of changing. One sleeve hung down her shoulder, and wrinkles were visible on her jeans. She adjusted them half-heartedly, before walking over to the vanity and mirror the blonde kept in his room.

Her own reflection shocked her. There was no color in the frail teen's face, save for dark circles under her eyes. She'd barely gotten any sleep last night, even after her talk with Deidara ended. The exhaustion caused her eyes to redden, she noticed. Her hair was a tangled mess, and she decided not to even bother with putting the uncombed blue locks up in a bun. In fact, she had no desire to fix up her appearance whatsoever. It just all seemed so pointless.

However, she did feel the desire to eat. From the enticing aroma coming from the other room, she deduced that Deidara must be quite the cook. She personally wasn't all too skilled with baking. Neither was Pein, for that matter.

She wondered how he was going to eat, now that they were apart…

All her hunger disappeared with that single thought. It sickened her, the way she could relate anything and everything back to her beloved former roommate. Like an addict going through withdrawal, the separation ate away at her. Every second added to the pain, and every moment without his presence just increased her desire for him. No matter how cold he'd been, no matter how many secrets he'd hidden away, Pein had been the single most important thing in her life. Without the center, supporting pillar, would the whole building come crashing down?

Konan looked deep into her own bleak, blue eyes and tried desperately to find some sign of strength in them. Was she truly this weak? Was her entire life truly built around one man? She'd been with him most of her life. It felt almost as if a part of her had been ripped away, and she didn't know how to repair the hole left behind. Her eyes once again watered, for she failed to find the sign of independence she'd so hoped for. But she fought them, and somehow she succeeded. She'd build that strength herself, if need be. It was a pathetic notion, but she clung to it regardless.

Sick of making herself more miserable, Konan turned away from her broken reflection and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her. It was over. The new day was beginning.

"Konan, you awake, un?" Deidara's voice helped bring her back to reality. The hallway between the bedroom and the kitchen was short, and Konan soon came to the other room.

The kitchen was shockingly bright, with whites and chromes in every direction. The ground was alternating black and white linoleum and, while it looked recently done, covered with various food stains. It looked as if a decent polishing job hadn't been done in a while. In fact, none of the kitchen was very well kept. Even the various plants around the room were fake and plastic, and in no need of maintenance. Deidara seemed to know his way around the kitchen well, though, and was certainly no stranger to the appliances.

Deidara wore faded jeans and a tie-dye t-shirt beneath a white apron. His hands moved with skill over the ingredients, all the while keeping an eye on the skillet that lay on the stove. Every once in a while, he'd pour the thick batter into the pan, where it would sizzle and brown. Then, he'd scrape his spatula under the gooey creation and flip it. Lastly, he'd place the final product onto a plate. Konan watched him go through every step of this process, and eyed the result with desire.

In the center of the room was a white, circular table. And placed onto the center of that, was a small stack of pancakes. They were a through golden-brown, and appetizingly fluffy. Melted butter dripped down the side, creating a small pool between the cuisine and the interior of the serving plate. Topping the warm pancakes was a light sprinkle of white confectioner sugar. Beside the plate of food was a small bowl, filled with thick, sickeningly sweet syrup. Konan's stomach began to unknot just looking at it, and she walked over to the table and sat down in one of the two chairs placed out.

"Yeah." She said, her voice quiet and sickeningly frail. She hated the sound of it, and the way it betrayed her weakness. Deidara, thankfully, didn't comment.

"Good. I made us some breakfast, un." He said, glancing over to the table. "I hope you like pancakes."

"Yeah," Konan repeated. "Yeah…I do. They look good. Really good, in fact."

"Thanks, un. Since my parents are always out, I have to do a lot of my own cooking. Guess the experience pays off, huh?'

The other teen only nodded in response, and took one of the pancakes from the stack and placed it on her already set plate. She took her fork and dug into it, then took a slow bite and chewed it over. Her tastebuds were delighted with the food, which was a great change of pace from the microwaved meals they were usually treated to. She was halfway done her first pancake when Deidara joined her.

"So how're you holding up?" He asked, taking a few pancakes onto his own plate. His soft blue eyes stayed focused on her, even as he brought a few forkfuls of his delectable creation to his lips.

Konan took a few seconds to think over his question. She didn't think it really needed an answer. It was impossible for anyone to miss what was written all over her pale, miserable face.

"Fine." She said at last. A lie, obviously, but the truth didn't need to be spoken, and Deidara seemed to understand that. He nodded, accepting her reply. Konan breathed a silent sigh of relief, before returning to her meal.

A minute of silence passed between them before Konan spoke up again.

"Thank you for letting me stay here last night. I'm sorry if I inconvenienced you any." She said. Her eyes were downcast, and she'd placed down her eating utensils. Still, though, she could feel his bright eyes upon him. It was as if he just exuded positive energy. In that perspective, he was the exact opposite of Konan's frosty beloved.

"No problem, un. You're welcome here as long as you like. It's nice to have the company, actually." He said. His lips curved into a reassuring, slightly lop-sized smile, which Konan found oddly endearing.

"Thank you, but…" Konan said, with a bit of reluctance. "I don't think I'll be staying much longer. Actually, I think I'll be heading home after this."

"You sure, un?" Deidara asked with surprise. Konan couldn't blame him. The decision shocked even her. After all, the apartment held so many memories of the man who'd walked out on her, that it could hold nothing but pain. But she had to face it; she knew very well that she did. Besides, she refused to impose on her friend any more than she had to.

"Yeah. I'm…I'm sure." She said, pushing her plate away. "Thanks for the breakfast."

"No problem, un." Deidara said, getting up from his chair and grabbing her plate, as well as his own. He walked over to the sink, and dumped them both into it. By the time he turned around, Konan was already walking over to the door.

"Wait!" He exclaimed, stopping the exiting female in her tracks. Konan started, her skin blanching at the sudden yell. It only lasted a second though, and then she turned around to gaze questioningly at the approaching male.

"What is it?" She asked, wondering if she'd forgotten something. The blonde didn't answer right away, and instead began rummaging through the closet next to the door. Loud bangs and thuds resonated throughout the large foyer as Deidara searched through the small mess. A few coats were flung out of the closet and onto the floor, before he emerged with an old, faded umbrella.

"You're not going to just go out into the rain like that, are you, un?" He asked with a kind grin, handing the worn umbrella to her. Konan looked down at the offered gift, and then up to the man who'd been so generous.

"Thanks." She said, attempting a smile of her own as she took the umbrella with one hand. Then, before she could register what was happening, Deidara's arms enveloped her in a tight embrace.

Konan's heart pounded hard against her chest, and it suddenly became hard to breath. Every breath she took, she inhaled a little more of the blonde's pleasantly sweet scent. Her body pressed against his, and she could feel that he definitely had more muscle than his girlish appearance let on. Without even thinking about it, she threw her arms around him in return, and held on as tight as she could. Her head was buried in his chest, which still bore the distinct aroma of pancake batter. She wondered if he could feel the way her heart was hammering, and hoped to god that he couldn't. Her pale face began to regain some color as well, and her cheeks grew pink with warmth.

It didn't last nearly long enough. Deidara pulled away before she did, and her grip on him slackened. Her blue eyes, which were showing again some signs of strength, stared deep into Deidara's vivid ones. There was such a force behind them; it was hard _not _to be sucked in. They were just so _brilliant_. Their faces were just inches apart, and the breathless girl felt every exhalation of the other male's hot breath. Then, Deidara began to lean in closer, and Konan's heart came to a frightened, screeching halt.

"Don't." She breathed, turning her head away from him at last. The eye contact was broken, and therefore, the spell should be too…right? But Konan still felt dizzy from the encounter, and her heart was regaining speed. Deep down, it felt so wrong to be with this guy. Especially with Pein gone not even a day. But something inside her wanted to defy that guilt so badly, and to prove that she didn't need Pein as much as she thought she did. He'd walked away from their relationship, so why should she suffer for it?

"I'm sorry, un…" Deidara began, but then stopped abruptly. He pulled away a little further and removed one hand from around her. Then, he placed that hand under Konan's chin and forced her to look into her eyes once more.

"No, I'm not. I'm not sorry at all, because I haven't done anything at all worth regretting. I like you, Konan, and I'm not going to lie about that. I know it may seem like I'm taking advantage of your situation, but I'm not. Not at all." He said, before leaning in close once again. "Are you really going to let that jerk control you this way?"

The already shaken girl began to tear up, and this time, the battle was not going in her favor. A few teardrops spilled down her cheeks, forming stains and reddening her eyes, before she managed to suppress the waterworks.

"I can't…" She said, her voice trembling. "I can't…betray him…" Every word hurt, and the shock of being thrown into the situation still hadn't subsided. She was petrified by the whole affair, and it tore at her already troubled mind. The terror only increased when Deidara brought his lips to her ear, sending small shivers down her spine.

"How can you betray a man," he whispered, "you're not even with?"

She broke away from him. One hand shot out and pushed Deidara away, and after she'd done so, she took a few steps back. With both hands, she clutched the umbrella, holding it close to her chest. Her breaths came quick and heavy, and her eyes were wide with a combination of fear and confusion. She felt like she was suffocating, and more than anything, she just wanted to run.

"Please…" She said, her voice almost inaudible. Deidara didn't comply, however, and walked over until he stood right in front of her.

"I'm sorry. Honestly, this time." He said. "I don't want to push you into anything you don't want."

Konan couldn't respond. She didn't know what there was left to say at that point. So all she did was turn away and head over to the door. Her fingers wrapped around the cold, metal doorknob, and she opened the door to the back way out of the ground-level apartment. With her other hand, she opened up the umbrella. Outside, the rain still fell, and the chilly air invaded the room with shocking speed. She took a step into the storm, before feeling a hand tightly grip around her arm. With a frightened gasp, she turned around, but had no time to prepare for what was coming.

Deidara's lips crashed onto hers, and even through the bewilderment, Konan knew to close her eyes. The electric sensation pulsed through her, and in spite of herself, she found a bit of enjoyment in their embrace. It overtook her, and blocked out all the guilt and sorrow. She kissed him back for one long, impassioned moment, before Deidara finally let go of her. Konan's eyes shot open, and she stared into his own once more.

"I'll see you around." He whispered, taking a few steps backwards.

"Goodbye." Konan managed to reply, before closing the door between them.

Then, she turned away, and walked into the raging storm.


	10. Home

_IHome sweet home/I_

With a flip of the switch, fluorescent lights flickered and illuminated the small apartment. Shutting the door behind her, Konan stepped inside. Her hands went to the doorknob, and she set the lock. The neighborhood was a risky one, and so the door was always kept bolted. Otherwise, she would almost certainly come home to a ransacked room. More than once, she'd noticed smashed locks and other security devices on the ground near the neighbors' doors. She didn't worry about break-ins, though. Pein had been sure to buy the most secure lock available. From day one, he'd reassured her of their safety.

That day was vivid in Konan's memory. As her hand fell from the cold, metal knob, she could not help but think back to their first experience in the apartment. They'd had no permanent living space before then, just motel rooms and park benches. The neighborhood may have been dangerous, and the apartment small, but in her eyes, it'd been a godsend. She never once questioned Pein on how he'd scrounged up the money for it. Had it been fear that'd stopped her from doing so, or was it denial? She hadn't even contemplated the issue before. Now, she'd never know. All his secrets would remain just that. Secret.

Konan never had quite gotten used to the nights in the apartment. The first day, Pein brought in a ratty old bed, with springs that croaked with every movement. It was just barely big enough for the two of them, and the mattress was firm and uncomfortable to sleep upon. Even the blanket was shabby, and she doubted it'd be able to keep them warm. She remembered looking upon the bed with doubt, and then up to the man who'd brought it in. The first thing he did was to assure her he'd gotten it from a friend. What a lie that had been. Pein had no friends, had no one but for her. She'd asked no questions, though. She was just glad to have a bed to sleep on.

As it turned out, the bed was the least of her worries. That first night, she'd quickly discovered the other occupants of the apartment. The thumps and scrapes had kept her awake and frightened. Pein had informed her that the sounds were most likely just rats or mice, but that hadn't calmed her at all. Unlike her fearless roommate, the thought of those little critters crawling around in the dark sent shivers up her spine. It was almost as bad as the sounds coming from the sole window of the bedroom. Even though it was closed, the sounds of the cars passing still resonated loudly in the room. Jabbering voices and booming beats were intolerably audible, and she'd found herself unable to fall asleep. The night crept onward, and she tossed and turned on the bumpy mattress.

Konan did not go sleepless that night, though. She'd been staring at the scarcely visible wall, eyes heavy with fatigue, when she felt Pein's hand on her. It brushed over her thinly clothed back, before reaching over the side of hers that she wasn't lying on. Pein had kept his arm around her, and pressed his own tired body against her back. The restless female had felt every rise and fall of his chest, had felt every beat of his cold heart. His slowed breathing tickled the top of her head with every exhalation. A familiar, musky scent had filled her nostrils, and she remembered the way it had made her every fear vanish, her every muscle relax. In a matter of minutes, she'd fallen asleep.

That was the only time Pein had ever held her that way, and it was a memory that had stayed with her ever since. Every time she'd felt fearful, all she had to do was think of that night and remember his touch, and the security of it helped comfort her. Konan only wished it would work then, as she stood in the empty apartment. Everywhere she turned, there was a reminder. Everywhere, there was a memory.

Konan took off her rain-soaked jacket and hung it up in their small closet. Then, she dropped the umbrella to the floor. The sight of it, the feel of it in her hands, was too much for her to bear right now. She refused to think back on what had happened with Deidara. The quiet teen just couldn't deal with it right then. No guilt or regret filled her, but neither did anything pleasant. She had made herself numb to the situation for the time being.

With that done, she walked over to the black, leather couch that was pushed off to one side of the room. It was the nicest piece of furniture, and the most expensive looking one. She sat down, and the material provided immediate comfort. She often enjoyed just laying on the couch after a long day. It was vastly more comfortable than the bed. Yet, she'd never spent a night there. Konan had always opted to sleep on the uncomfortable bed, just so she could feel Pein's presence beside her.

Konan leaned against one armrest, and her eyes fell upon the side table. She sat up straight again, and turned to fully face it. The table was round and wooden, with various chips and dents in it. On the surface, lay four origami figures.

The first two paper figures were obviously hers. She'd perfected the art over many years of practice, and as a result, her origami was flawless and beautiful. There wasn't a fold out of place, nor a visible crease. She often did it while she was stressed, and she found it often helped take her mind off things. She especially enjoyed making swans and roses. They were her favorite creations. One skillfully made figure of each of the two was placed on the table, lying side by side.

The other two matching figures, however, were not hers. They belonged to Pein. It'd only been a month ago, the talented female recalled, that she'd taught him to make them. Her skillful fingers had guided his clumsy ones, and it was soon apparent that he had no talent whatsoever for the art. She'd tried hard to help him create the figures, though, and together they'd succeeded. Both the rose and the swan looked crudely made compared to hers, but she'd thought at the time that they were the most beautiful things in the world. Especially after he'd offered them to her. Konan paid no mind to the uneven paper petals on the rose, or the multitude of wrong folds on the swan. She had laid them next to her own creations with pride. Pein would never have admitted it, or even have shown it, but Konan could tell he was pleased at her approval. Together, they'd made something beautiful. The memory and the origami figures meant a lot to Konan.

She gently fingered the fragile paper, handling her former roommate's creation with care. Konan's sorrowful blue eyes lingered on the paper creations for a few more seconds, before moving elsewhere. She didn't wish to think back on the times she had with Pein, but everywhere she turned, something brought back a memory. Every piece of furniture held a story, and every one of those stories had to do with the man that'd walked out on her. Konan had never realized how much of her life was connected to him.

Unable to stay sitting any longer, the blue-haired girl stood up from the couch and went into the bedroom. She averted her eyes from anything that could possibly invoke another memory of Pein, and headed straight for the small cabinet. Never before had she opened that door, and the prospect of doing so had her nervous. It had always been Pein's cabinet, filled with his weed and cigarettes and anything else he didn't want her getting into. That day, though, Konan decided she'd look into it. If nothing else, then she could at least take a joint. She just wanted to get Pein off her mind, and she'd seen the way marijuana could distract a person.

Her fingers wrapped around the metal handle of the cabinet, and she drew in a deep breath. She was entering foreign territory, and it had her tense. Konan's skin was a shade paler than normal, and her heart thumped against her chest. It was just a cabinet, she told herself, but she was unable to truly believe that. It was the door to all the secrets he kept, and that day, Konan wanted to open it. She wanted to know what he kept behind those doors. Gathering up her courage, Konan opened the door.

It had been emptied. Not a joint nor cigarette lay on the shelves within. It had been completely cleared out. All the secrets were gone, forever taken with her dearest friend. Konan stared at the faded white interior, before moving her eyes to the sole item in the cabinet. She exhaled a shaky breath, and reached out to pick it up.

It was a gun. Sleek and black, the handgun exuded danger. Konan had never handled a weapon before, and so she touched the gun with meticulous caution. Her slender fingers wrapped around the handle, and she stared at the device with wonder. She'd never seen the weapon before, not even in the short seconds when Pein had the cabinet open. He'd never mentioned owning a gun to her. Then again, that was typical of him. Pein never told her anything of importance.

A thought struck her. Who else would clear the cabinet out but Pein? And what reason would he have for doing that? She couldn't figure out why he'd just suddenly pack his stash up. Unless, that was, he'd done it _after _he'd walked out of the diner. That seemed like the most plausible explanation…and the most painful one. For it meant that, while she was curling up in bed next to Deidara, her troubled friend had returned home. What, she wondered, had he thought of her absence? Would he have stayed if she'd been there when he came back? Konan didn't know any of those answers, and the questions only added to the shadows plaguing her.

Konan drew in a deep breath, and tried to clear her mind of those troubles. Then, she exhaled, and closed the cabinet door. She walked back over to the bed, and sat down on the mattress. The springs groaned loudly in protest, and she even heard something pop within it. They were ugly sounds, but they were familiar ones. She loved them dearly.

Her eyes stayed on the gun in her hand. The grip was comfortable, and her fingers held it naturally. It was Pein's final gift to her. The gift of safety and security. The weapon was so very dangerous and intimidating to her, but she knew it would protect her. Her hand clutched it tighter, feeling the cold metal against her skin. She could almost feel Pein's hand, warm and strong, clamping over hers, guiding her fingers. With whitened knuckles, she continued to grip it tightly, never wishing to let go. The feeling passed, however, and the supposed presence was gone. Konan's fingers trembled once more, and the gun fell to the bed.

Konan's shadowed eyes traveled next to the bedside table. She was seated on Pein's side of the mattress, and so it was his possessions she eyed. Pein had always been organized to the point of compulsion, and the table's condition showed that clearly. There was loose change, but it was all stacked up neatly beside the radio alarm clock he never used. In front of that, there was a picture. For now, Konan avoided looking at it.

There was no book there that day. Often, she'd find a novel laying on the table's surface, with a bookmark in place. Pein never tented his books, and would often voice his displeasure when he caught her doing so. She glanced over to the pillow, and it confirmed her suspicions. He'd kept it under the pillow instead. He only did that when it was a particularly good book. It had worried Konan on occasion, how he'd spend half the night reading. She ran a finger over the hardcover binding, and felt the grooves where the title was spelled out. It was one of those philosophical war books he so enjoyed. She pulled it out from under the pillow, and brought it to her lap. Konan stared at the cover for a few seconds, before placing it aside.

The blue-haired female couldn't ignore it any longer. As she turned her head, her eyes caught glimpse of the picture on Pein's bedside table, and she couldn't tear them away. Every morning, she looked at it, but never before had she taken it in so much. So vivid was the scene, she could almost hear the laughter, and smell the fresh air.

The photograph had been taken years ago. The fact that it had been taken before the 'incident' was blatantly obvious…for Pein adorned a rather charming smile on his piercing-free face. His grinning lips were parted to reveal a flash of those white teeth he now kept hidden away. There was no ice in his eyes in that picture, only an odd mixture of happiness and sorrow. She remembered those eyes so clearly. Then was a time when sadness never left his face, no matter how he may have laughed and played around. Konan missed those eyes dearly, despite the trouble in them.

Konan also missed the feel of Pein's touch. In the picture, his arm was slung casually around her slender shoulders. He hadn't been afraid to touch her back then. In those days, he didn't draw back at the slightest touch, nor did he keep so much distance from other people. His other hand was in the pocket of his jeans. He wore a t-shirt in the picture, for it'd been a summer day when they'd taken it. Back then, his clothing choices hadn't been so dark or baggy. Nor had they been so unfit for the weather.

Konan then studied the image of herself in the photograph. It was like looking at a stranger. In the picture, she wore light blue jeans, complete with an abundance of grass stains. Her t-shirt was a canvas of pinks and purples, so very unlike the dark hoodies and tanks she had since grown accustomed to. Her hair, which she'd taken so much pride in back then, was let down, and fell over her shoulders. The smile she showed in the picture was unfamiliar to her. The teenage female tried to contort her lips into a similar expression, but failed miserably. It'd been so long since she'd been able to smile that happily. She found herself missing that young, barely adolescent girl in the picture.

Most of all, though, she remembered the photographer. She remembered his laughter as he held up his beloved camera. She remembered the way he joked about the two, and the casual compliments about her appearance. The young boy's voice was so distant now, but she could still recall it. Konan didn't think she'd ever be able to forget him, though she pushed him out of her mind whenever possible.

Another memory came to mind. Konan shut her eyes tight, and tried to will it away, but failed. She saw a street, with few cars passing by the three teens traveling on the sidewalk. She'd been trailing behind, and hadn't really been paying attention. She remembered that her two male companions had been fighting, though. Those shouts were clear, and still haunted her dreams. She'd never learned what their argument had been about, though. She wondered if she'd ever find out. The argument had escalated, and then Pein had pushed the other boy. Pein had always been a strong person, but there was something so vicious, so _powerful_ in that shove. Her other friend had gone tumbling into the street…and right in front of a car.

Just as Konan began remembering the squeal of the brakes and the wail of the sirens, she managed to shut out the memory. Her breathing had quickened, as had her heartbeat, and she gripped the covers tightly. Sick of the memories, the young girl lay down on the bed, and pulled the sheets over her now trembling body. She shut her eyes, and forced Pein out of her mind. It was hard to do, for she'd recently discovered just how much he'd been a part of her. She managed to blank her mind though, and she let the darkness take her over. Tomorrow, there'd be school and work to fact. Tomorrow, the memories would return. For now, though, she'd lose herself in a night of dreamless slumber.


	11. School

"Konan? …Miss Konan!"

Konan's eyes shot open at the sound of her name, and she blinked a few times in confusion. Her elbow rested on the desk, and her hand pressed against her cheek. Her drowsy eyes fell upon the chalkboard at the front of the classroom, on which a lengthy math problem was written. Then, she moved her tired gaze to the teacher, who was glaring at her with impatience. It took the teen a few moments to take in the situation, and figure out what had happened. She'd fallen asleep, and the teacher must have called on her, or caught her. She wasn't sure which. Konan bit her lip, and removed her hand from her cheek, resting it instead on the desk.

"Yes?" She asked, bracing herself for a lecture, or worse. Then again, the dull math teacher rarely yelled, so she didn't expect anything too harsh. Her worst worry was that she'd be sent to the principal, or guidance. The last thing Konan needed was someone asking questions. Luckily, the teacher didn't seem too angered by her dozing off in his class, just mildly irritated.

"Would you answer the question on the board?" He said, not hiding his impatience. Konan stared at him, and then at the equation for another couple of seconds. Now that the worry of being punished was gone, she became aware of the snickers and whispered comments from the students around her. She had no doubt they were at her expense. That was always the case, and she was far used to it by now. Konan simply tuned out the other classmates as best she could, and attempted to solve the problem on the board. It looked suspiciously like the lesson had been taught the day before in class, but the junior hadn't paid much attention then, either.

"Square root of two?" She guessed, hoping for the best, but knowing it was most likely incorrect. It was only a moment before her suspicion was confirmed. The teacher's annoyed expression gave it away even before he spoke.

"No, that's not it. Anyone else?" He questioned, peering over the other inattentive students. Most of them gave him nothing but blank gazes in response. Nothing new, Konan noted, as the students began focusing again on their previous activities, whether it was texting, gossiping, or doodling. Then, a hand shot up in the air.

"I know, sir. It's three pi over four." The smug voice was immediately recognizable. It was Sakura's, of course. The model student, Konan thought sarcastically. The teacher nodded, and began explaining the problem in length, almost as if expecting the teenagers to actually pay attention. Konan tried for a minute to focus on what was being taught, but quickly found it futile. Her mind was elsewhere, as it had been the entire week.

It was no surprise she'd fallen asleep. Konan had been tired all that day, and the ones previous. Since losing her beloved roommate, she found it near impossible to sleep in the apartment. She spent all night tossing and turning, and when she did sleep, it was often filled with horrid nightmares. Thus, she was in a constant daze when attending school. The entire past week was nothing but a surreal blur. She'd contemplated just not attending until she fixed the problem. The flaw with that, though, was that she'd have to stay home instead, if that were the case. Since that was where her troubles mostly laid, that plan of action seemed very unwise. Deidara had offered to skip with her a few times, but the offer seemed equally unappealing. Her falling asleep in class had been inevitable, and her being called on when it happened had just been rotten luck.

After what seemed like an eternity, the bell rang, dismissing class for the day. She gathered her materials and put them into her backpack, which she hefted up and slung over her shoulder. It was heavy that day, due to the abundance of homework requiring textbooks that had been given. Her slender shoulder protested when she attempted to carry the single-strap bag, but she merely sighed and tolerated it. Konan didn't know why she bothered bringing all the books home. She knew she wasn't going to end up doing the homework. She'd start it, take out the books, and then her mind would wander elsewhere. She'd recall memories, wonder what her old roommate was up to, think about Deidara, or just plain daydream. The thought of it made her sigh again, and she resolved to actually complete some assignments that night.

Konan walked out into the hallway, trying to avoid being bumped around by the crowd of people around her. It wasn't easy, but she managed to navigate her way to her locker with success. Once there, she dropped her backpack, and opened the locker. Unfortunately, her reason for stopping was to add more weight to it, rather than take some out. After accomplishing that task, she leaned against the locker, and wrapped her fingers around the necklace she wore. It was the one she'd bought at the store that day only a short while ago, though it seemed like much longer. She couldn't help but recall Pein's annoyance at having to stop there, and that thought brought with it more similar memories and reflections.

Before Konan could become too immersed in her gloomy thoughts, though, someone rested a hand on her shoulder, shocking her out of her distant thoughts and memories. She couldn't help but jump a little in surprise, her grip on the necklace tightening and her eyes snapping over in the direction of the person who'd touched her. As she should have expected, it was Deidara. His hand left her shoulder, and slid over to her other one, so the length of his arm was wrapped around her. His bright blue eyes were apologetic, and stared straight into her own optics. The sight calmed her a little, but the teen was still tense, her heart racing.

"Hey, I didn't mean to startle you, un." He said with his trademark grin. It was obviously meant to put Konan at ease, but failed miserably. Instead, the young girl groaned inwardly. It was hardly the first time he'd pulled such a stunt. All throughout the week, he was coming up to her, putting his arm around her, hugging her, and just plain being affectionate. She never rejected his spirited advances, or voiced her discontent, but she couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with being touched. Konan had always been one to shy away from touches and physical contact, the only exception being Pein. Though, the aloof teen was similar in that manner, so the exception was a rare one. And with that, her thoughts had circled back to her pierced friend, just as they always did. It was difficult, but she'd learned to push such thoughts away by then, and did so as she attempted a conversation with Deidara.

"It's okay." She said, lowering her gaze. Even though she did so, she could still feel his energetic eyes staring at her in that enthusiastic way of his. "Do you need something?"

Deidara shook his head, and beamed at her once more. Konan glanced up just long enough to see the smile, and then looked down again, intently studying the floor, as well as the vivacious blonde's paint-splattered shoes. Knowing the artist, it was most likely an intentional decoration. His outfits were always similar. That day in particular, he wore a tie-dyed shirt, and a pair of ripped, paint-stained jeans. Most days, Deidara dressed as if he'd just walked out of an art studio. He even smelled as if he had done just that, with the scent of turpentine and clay always lingering on his person. Chances are, it was exactly the case.

"Only you." He said. Konan couldn't muster up the energy to acknowledge the humor in the comment, as Deidara soon found out. Upon being met with silence, he moved on to another subject. "You don't have work today, right?" He asked. Konan shook her head in response. That day she had off, which was an event she usually rejoiced about. Now, however, it just meant more time in her apartment, with nothing to do but homework she couldn't focus on. It wasn't hard to figure out Deidara had something else in mind for the two of them.

"Then maybe we could hang out." Deidara said, confirming what she'd suspected. "Like, at my place or something. You cool with that?"

At that point, Konan couldn't resist looking up again, and couldn't escape from his brilliant gaze, which immediately locked onto hers. She always got a bit of a shock when that happened, and it wasn't a negative one. She thought the question over, unsure of what she wished to do. She wasn't even sure of what the offer was. Go over to his apartment? And do what, she wondered. After the kiss they'd shared, the only one to date, she had to question Deidara's intentions. The questionings didn't lead to pleasant possible answers.

"I don't know…" Konan muttered, thinking about it still. Her fingers left the necklace, and her hand fell to her side once more. The alternative option rushed to mind, and she pictured herself studying at home once again that night, before going off to an unsuccessful slumber. It was just as unpleasant as the option of going to Deidara's apartment and hanging out there.

"Come on, it'll be fun." Deidara insisted. "My parents are out again, so we'd have the place to ourselves. We could watch a movie or something. Maybe I could help you with your homework, if you needed."

Konan had to wonder if Deidara's parents were gone often. He rarely spoke of them, and when he did, it was always in some relation to their absence. That could've been part of the reason he was so persistent about having her over, she realized. Then there was the homework offer as well. Konan couldn't afford to let her grades drop anymore, and figured Deidara might be able to help her focus more. These were all definite reasons to say yes. They hardly mattered, though. What was more important than the rationalizations was the fact that she I_wanted/I _to go. Beneath the uncertainty, the nerves, the fear, she desired to leave that apartment behind and spend time with Deidara instead. Before she knew it, her lips were open and words were escaping.

"Alright. I'll go." She said, causing her friend to flash yet another brilliant smile her way. He also removed his arm from her shoulders, much to her relief. Then, she reached down to grab her backpack. She was stopped when Deidara gripped her forearm, though. Konan gave him a surprised, questioning look, her arm tensing at the unexpected touch.

"I'll get that." He offered, reaching down and picking it up for her. "It seems kind of heavy for you."

Konan managed a small smile, though not a genuine one. She hadn't given a real smile in a long while. But it was a gesture of appreciation nonetheless, and Deidara didn't seem to notice it was a conscious effort on her part. He tossed the backpack over his shoulder, unaffected by the weight of it. Then, he looked again to Konan, his hand reaching out and taking hers. She managed not to flinch, but seriously contemplated pulling her hand away from his. Deciding against this, she allowed herself to relax a little, and even managed to return the blonde's grip.

"Shall we be going then?" He asked, eyes gazing expectantly into hers. After a second of hesitation, she answered.

"Yeah," She said, fake smile still in place, "let's go."


End file.
